Bad Movies We Love

Went to dinner at a Mexican restaurant last night with two friends. The conversation turned to bad movies we love in spite of our better judgment. My all-time favorite bad movie is "The Long Kiss Goodnight" with Geena Davis and Samuel L. Jackson. So bad it's good. When I admitted my love for this movie, my friend Leslie clapped her hands like a little girl and said, "I LOOOOOVE that movie, too!!" I knew we were friends for a reason.

Her boyfriend, Shaun, then started listing off his favorite bad movies. Oddly enough, most of them were sci-fi movies. Guess that's just a genre that inherently walks the thin line between brilliant and crap. And then those that are so crap are craptastic! His favorites are "Event Horizon" and "Screamers" and "Armageddon." I've seen the first and last, but not "Screamers." He made me promise to put it in my Netflix queue. I'll let you know after I've watched it.

Some of my favorite movies are bad on purpose. Like they're making fun of bad movies. Or at least I think they're doing it on purpose. The faux documentary "Drop Dead Gorgeous" makes fun of documentaries. It's hilarious. I always see Ellen Barkin raising her right hand with the beer can permanently stuck in her hand. Once you see it, you'll understand. Then there are the "Charlie's Angels" movies. Totally campy and laugh out loud funny.

Maybe I should take this approach to the Star Wars prequel trilogy. Those movies stole my soul they were so bad. A blight upon the happy memories of my childhood. Perhaps I should play Mystery Science Theater 3000 with those movies. I could have fun with those movies that way. Especially when Anakin has any dealings with Padme. "Are you an angel?" Blech. Puh! It makes me want to spit to clear my mouth. You'd think I'd want to cover my ears, but my initial reaction (after rolling my eyes into the back of my head) is to make "puh puh" noises like I'm spitting out something nasty tasting. Even though I did not like said movies, I still own them on DVD. Perhaps at some point on this long holiday weekend, I shall try out my Mystery Science Theater approach to these prequels. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Haven't done much reading during the latter part of the week. I hope to get into "The Host" by Stephenie Meyer. Big book for a big weekend. My friend Rachel loved this book. I read the first chapter and thought it was pretty interesting.

I have a 30% off coupon for Borders burning a hole in my pocket. Think I'll see if I can find any classic novels from the Everyman's Library collection. I'm loving those dustjackets. Yes, I'm that swayed by a superficial aesthetic such as a dustjacket. Who said books can't be pretty as well as entertaining?

Mea Culpa!

This is my public apology where I'm humbly begging Garfunkel, my sister's MINI, to forgive me for saying he had a white top. He has a BLACK top. Black. Beautiful, sleek, shiny black. White tops are for losers. So please accept my apology, Garfunkel. Aunty Bibliominiac is gonna buy you a big, bubbly bottle of vintage motor oil for your birthday. Won't that be lovely?

Not much to report today. I spent some time today on the website for the Everyman's Library editions of books. Me likey! I'm thinking I'm going to collect all of the Charles Dickens novels from this collection. Can you believe I haven't read much Dickens? I read "Great Expectations" in high school, but that's it. I know some of his other novels through movie adaptations, but the book is always better. So I plan on slowly accumulating these books and reading every word. Should be fun.

Speaking of "slowly accumulating," I was thinking today that if I didn't buy my big ass flat-screen tv, I could buy tons and tons of books. Or at least ten pounds of books. I started asking myself whether I really NEEDED a big ass tv. After much soul-searching, I decided that those few tv shows I do watch would be even better if the tv were big enough so that I could actually see the actors' facial expressions from my couch six feet away. What a concept. A friend of mine let me borrow her "Sex and the City" DVDs, and it wasn't until one disc got persnickity to the point where I had to watch it on my computer rather than through my tv that I realized Sarah Jessica Parker had blue eyes. Who knew? It was quite eye-opening. Heh. Eye pun. Sorry.

Guess that's all for now. I was going to get on the treadmill and do some exercise, but I think my cats need some attention. Yeah. Blame it on the cats. When I get a big ol' poochy belly and the cats can't find a place to lie down, they'll only have themselves to blame.

First Book Club Meeting

Hey.

I'm just back from my first book club meeting. It's a "Classics" book club. I'm a bit of a hermit, so it took me an effort to will myself to get out of the house and go to the book store. I bought myself a decaf mocha as a reward for making it to the shopping center. Then I loitered around for fifteen minutes and then finally made myself go into the little room. Funny how I can argue in front of a panel of judges and never quake in my boots, yet I didn't want to turn the door handle to go into that conference room to talk about a book.

I had a blast! Let's see, so I will remember, there was Cathy, Jen, Julie, Gail, Carol, and Mary. And me, of course.

We read "Rebecca" by Daphne du Maurier. I had never read it before. The book totally sucked me in. It was really well done. A gothic-styled novel set in the late 1920s or 1930s.

Anyway, I am kind of shy by nature. So I thought I would just kind of listen in and hunker over my decaf mocha and try to be as invisible as possible. But I found myself jumping in and talking about themes and issues and other books that it reminded me of. I wonder now if they thought I was obnoxious. I hope not. They all told me to come back next time. And they didn't say it in that fake Southern way that really means, "We're saying this to your face, but the second you leave we're going to make scathingly catty comments about you." That's quite common down South, you know.

Funny, but when I was in college taking Freshman lit classes, I never spoke. And I always got grumpy about identifying themes. I kept thinking, "Can't we just enjoy the plot without picking it to pieces?" But tonight, here I was picking and hashing away. Quite happily, I might add.

Next month's book is "Arrowsmith" by Sinclair Lewis. Never read that one either. This should be fun. Then October's book is "The Moonstone" by Wilkie Collins. One of my favorite books from when I was younger. I told everyone tonight that it was one of my favorites. Hope I still like it. Hope they like it. But you know, I'm past that point of wanting people to think I'm smart because of my book choices. I want to read the books that interest me, and if that's some "low brow" piece of drivel, so be it.

I attended one other book club about 11 months ago. At the same book store, incidentally. Different people. And boy, were they snooty old cows. The first woman to come into the room saw me sitting there all alone. And she calmly sat down and began looking through her book. Don't you think that common courtesy dictates that you should at least make an effort at introducing yourself? I mean, really. Anyway, three other people showed up. The guy was nice. But that first woman and her girlfriend were completely obnoxious. Said they only read "serious literature." I never really understood what that meant. And who gets to stand around with a literary magic sorting wand saying, "This is serious literature. This one is drivel." Silly.

So I'm glad I went back and gave book clubs another chance. I look forward to reading the next book. It sounds like they've been together for some time, so they've read a lot of books from the "Classics Canon." So I'll be introduced to branches off of the classics tree. Should be interesting.

As for my MINI adventure today -- I almost got (another) speeding ticket. I haven't had a speeding ticket since I was 16 years old. Yet a few months ago, I got behind the wheel of my mom's yellow convertible MINI for the first time and Wham! I hadn't even gone three miles before a cop pulled me over and gave me an outrageously expensive ticket. The nerve. So I went to traffic school in order for it to stay off my record. After spending four hours on a beautiful Saturday morning cooped up in traffic school, I got a wee certificate that said I knew the basics of defensive driving.

So I've been trying to obey the rules of the road so my four hours in traffic school would not be for naught. But today, I came upon this little roundabout by my employee parking lot. It's by a huge public park. And no one was around. So Simon and I zipped halfway around the roundabout. MINIs are made for cornering, you know. And wouldn't you know it, there was a State Trooper standing not ten feet from me after I shot out of the roundabout. He made me stop in the middle of the road and told me the speed limit was 15 m.p.h. and that I needed to drive slower. I played the role of the chastised schoolgirl and said I was sorry and that I wouldn't do it again. But deep down I was thinking that he had ruined my whirly twirly happiness. Sigh. Guess next time I'll have to do a super slo-mo whirly twirly round the roundabout. Won't be as much fun though.

I must say that MINIs make you a wee bit of an aggressive driver. They're just too much fun to drive. And I'm not the only one who thinks so. My mom has never had a speeding ticket in her entire life. Always always always drives the speed limit. But she was talking to me the other day and agreed that there's something about a MINI that makes you want to pretend like you're in "The Italian Job." She told me she was getting on the interstate the other day and some guy was following her very closely. Again, she drives the speed limit, but he wanted to go much faster. However, when she hit this big, almost 360 degree on-ramp, she told me she "smoked him" on the corner. To hear my mom talking about smoking someone in her MINI was too hilarious for words. Dear old Mom.

Guess that's it for now.

First Post

Okay. So now what?

Let's try some different fonts. Yeah. That will take up some space. This blank page is very intimidating.

Another font.

What about this one?

Ick. I don't like this one.

Trebuchet? Nah. Besides, what kind of name for a font is that? That's a medieval catapult. Silly name for a font.

I've heard of this one. Nope.

Ha Ha!

I have decided on this one.
Very nice.
Hope you like it.

Well, this is my attempt to not get too far behind in technology.
So I shall use this place to teach myself new tricks.

I know the title of my blog references my MINI Cooper, and I would love to show you a picture of my car. Simon. His name is Simon. Simon Patrick Alfred Cornwallis IV. (Even though this is only my first MINI, I still felt like he was the fourth in a long line of distinguished MINIs.) Anyway, I would love to show you a picture of my car, but I don't have a digital camera. And even if I did, I don't think I would know how to post the picture of him. Someday I shall learn. I promise. Then you can ooh and ah over Simon. He's Royal Grey in color. Or should I say "colour" since he's British? It's a beautiful color/colour. Grey with hints of brown and green. They don't make that color anymore. So Simon is even more special.

I've only had him for 21 months, but already we've had many grand adventures together. He's a stick shift. 5-speed. When I bought him, I didn't know how to drive a stick. So my mom had to drive him off the lot. Pretty funny. She hadn't driven a stick in over 20 years, but she did beautifully. She drove me to a Target parking lot near my house and I proceeded to pop the clutch about 150 times in a row. But I learned. I put a sign in the back window that said "New Stick Driver." On the first day I drove it, I had to go up a hill. I thought I was going to have a heart attack. To make matters worse, this 16 year-old sorority girl wannabe in her parents' Lexus SUV gets right up on my bumper. The light turned green, and I rolled back and almost smashed into her. She honked and honked. I kept thinking, "Do you think I'm doing this for my entertainment?" I killed the engine through the entire green light. People were honking. Couldn't they see my sign? On the next light, I finally managed to peel out and made it up the hill. I didn't know you could peel out in a stick. Huh.

When I finally made it safely home, I thought about it and figured out that that young lady didn't know what "New Stick Driver" meant. So I put a second sign in the back window. "Keep Back." That worked. Lots of people smiled at me as they passed by. Others gave me a thumbs up. Very encouraging. I kept that sign up for two months. By then I finally felt comfortable with my skills. And I didn't feel a rush of adrenaline or my stomach drop to my knees.

Now, Simon and I laugh about those first few weeks. We zip around the streets, cornering like a race car driver, and accelerating smoothly with no herky jerky movements. It's awesome.

I'm such a fan and big MINI enthusiast that my sister and mom each bought one. My sister bought a blue one with a white top. My mom bought a yellow convertible. They are both extremely happy with their MINIs.

But back to my no digital camera situation. I would buy one, but this fall my big purchase for myself is a flat-screen tv. I have this old old old tv I've had since college. I don't have cable, and I don't want it. So my little square tv has rabbit ears perched on top. They're pointing in such a way as to make my tv look very quizzical with one "ear" pointing almost directly sideways. Kind of cute. But, I figured with the digital signal conversion coming up, I might as well get a big tv with a digital tuner. That way I can watch my DVDs in all of their widescreen glory. So, yes, I will buy myself a big tv in a few months. And then maybe down the road I shall buy a digital camera.

My family thinks I'm crazy for not getting cable, but whenever I go to their houses, there's nothing on. You just end up channel surfing for hours. Or watching something you don't really like. Don't get me wrong. I like tv shows. I love "The Closer" and "Bones" and "Law & Order: SVU." But I can watch "Bones" and "SVU" with my rabbit-eared tv, and then I just Netflix "The Closer" and watch an entire season, commercial-free all during one eye-numbing weekend. More fun that way.

As for books, I love fiction, mostly mysteries, and history books, particularly books on medieval history. And if it's a mystery set in the middle ages . . . perfection.

I'm not one of those book snobs. I'll read anything so long as it entertains me. I work with a guy who is a book snob. One day he saw me returning a James Patterson book to the library and said, "Well, I'll never again worry about you seeing what I'm reading." Putz.

And the "Bibliomaniac" part of my blog title is so very very true. I have a disease. I need to own books. And not paperbacks. I must own the hardcovers. First editions if I can swing it.

My favorite thing to do on any weekend is to go to at least three different bookstores around town. I call it "haunting the local bookstores." Love just wandering the aisles, smelling the new book smell. Or old book smell. Sipping a mocha. The joy is in the search. And the purchasing. And the reading, don't get me wrong. I love to read them. But I find such extreme satisfaction in putting a book on my bookshelf after I've read it. I can't explain it.

I used to work in a bookstore. Actually I've worked for two different bookstores. Many many years. Loved that employee discount. Sometimes I swear my paycheck said, "You owe us." I miss those discounts. And the people. Book people are my peeps. We get each other. We get excited about the same things. New books coming out by favorite authors. New authors coming out of nowhere.

I worked at Barnes & Noble when the Harry Potter phenomenon caught fire. That was amazing to be a part of. Then when the fourth book came out, they started doing midnight release parties. A midnight release party! For a book! And hundreds and hundreds of people would show up. It was so much fun. The adults were just as excited as the kids.

But now the Harry Potter saga is complete. Guess we'll have to wait for the next big thing. I've heard a lot about Stephenie Meyers's "Twilight" series. My friend raves about them. Guess I'll give them a whirl.

Well, I believe I've rambled on for quite long enough for my first post here in blogland.

And it's Sunday, so I'm off to a bookstore or two. My cat has just exited his favorite layabout place -- the shower, he loves the feel of the cool porcelain underneath his furry fluffy body -- so now I can get ready for the day. And the books.